CNY...but where are my family...

haha...finally its the long awaited CNY...haha...have a prosperous lunar new year...to all my chinese friends...and to those who aren't chinese...haha...lucky ones...to have these long weekend...haha...

while all my friends are out visiting at their families' house...i'm here...home...blogging...isn't it a bit sad...haha...actually went to gina's house yesterday...had fun playing and chatting...well...a great day overall...

today...no where to go...nobody to ask out also...actually...dunno who to ask also...cos dun need to ask...almost all of them are busy...engaged...where got people like me...no where to go...

actually today in a super foul mood...cos i really miss my extended family...i miss my grandparents...n my small cousins...every year...cny...i can only call them...tell them that i miss them...

ytd was chatting with ah ma...she told me she's 75 already...and that she misses me badly...i have always known from young that she dotes on me...she really does...she said she's old already...i shld go back and visit her soon...cos she's scared she cant wait for me any longer...she also told me to bring my boyfriend along...but how to...who can i bring...i dun wanna disappoint her...i juz told her i'll go back asap...really...i hope so...

she also said...my baby cousin...is 5 yrs old already...ah ma everyday show her my picture...tell her this is your sister in singapore...until this gal already know of me...and was calling me jie jie over the phone...but not once has she seen me...how sad can this be...

when everyone's going visiting...or some even complaining of their never-changing routine...who much do i envy these people...at least they can see their grandparents...aunts and uncles...grew up with their cousins...how come i nvr had any of these...??? why are my festivals always so lonely...?

ah ma...i miss u...

sucky citibankers!!! #$%$^%&*^*^

shit! got complaint again...idiot citibankers...somemore not the banker himself lo...its that bloody bitch...the secretary! argh...juz cant take it lying down...say i was rude...impatient...and was sighing on the phone with her...come on ok...everybody can feel tired ba...SPEAKING IN A MONOTONOUS TONE IS NOT EQUAL TO BEING RUDE!...!#$^%^*&(*)...

woman..u dunno wat's the meaning of rude until i give u a tight slap ok! somemore wan to complain to procurement...wait i really slap u then u knw...hahahahaha~

lucky...my manager passed this to my supervisor...which intelligent solved it for me...haha...so end up...also nth la...juz a case of threatens...to expect more goodies??? perhaps ba...haha...some people are juz cheapos ba...

then when i wanted to leave office for the day...my manager asked me into her room...i was thinking...die liaoz...for sure kana scolding liaoz...surprisingly...she was very understanding...she said she understand that some secretaries are very difficult to handle and that i should take note of my tone when speaking to them...

wow...relieved...haha...bad scare for the day sia!

幸福 我要的幸福 在不远处

well..the past weekend..had been sort of wonderful..haha...didn't do a lot of things..didn't have a hectic timetable..didn't have my loved one by my side all the time..but nonetheless..its still a good one..haha..

me n some colleagues were arranging ktv on fri nite..after work de..but it was cancelled due to a serious lack of participants..haha..thus..decided to join brenda and gang at dbl o instead..argh..never did i aspect..here also so many last min cancelations..haha..qiumei couldn't make it..liwen too..haiz~ seems like its not a good day for outings..haha

well..we still enjoyed ourselves at the club..brenda's friends were there..they were quite fun overall..haha..tho not all can drink..haha..(not as if i can drink very well anyway)..haha..

moreover..kelvin joined us at the club slightly after midnight..really appreciated it..although i knew he was tired..and is going to be tired..for the rest of the week..haha..but still..it was so sweet of him..haha..

then he had to book in for his guard duty for sat..book in time 0800 on sat ar!! super early..haiz~ somemore 24 hrs shift..haiz~ ended only on sunday morning..more than half of the weekend gone..moreover..he hadn't sleep much since thur..so poor thing rite..

we also watched memoirs of geisha on sun..at yishun..haha..kinda changed my opinion of yishun 10..i thot it would be smelly and stuffs..cos of all the stinky indians..that patronises on the weekends and at nights..haha..but it was quite comfy..

the show was pretty good..and i'm interested in the story!! whoever has the novel..please lend me!!! hahaha..i wanna knw wat happened to sayuri..and the chairman..

haha..was talking to jolene the other day..and decided that i must talk to kelvin..haha..well..it was difficult..and i didn't manage to ask him watever i was supposed to ask him..haha..but i asked him something else..which he gave me a super + super + super satisfactory answer..haha..

wing also talked to me..if i shld decide to be with him again..she told me not to hurt or disappoint him again..well..i gave it some thot..and i realised..i've grown and matured..haha..in her words..perhaps..kelvin is the guy that will teng wo..to the extent that he will tolerate my ren xing ba..where else can i find a guy that loves me so much..i promise..i'll nvr do anything else to hurt u again..really..unless one day..u dun wan me anymore..

well..CNY is also round the corner..mom had arranged for reunion dinner on sat..4-6pm..which means that after7pm on sat...i'll be free!! so people who doesn't have any activities..like me..let's go out!! haha..

then CNY..dunno where to go also..lucky gina..and patrick..offered their houses..haha..so devlin..me..and vincent..probably we'll go over for some gambling..and food..and fun!! haha..

~CNY Shopping~

finally...today has come...haha...since last week...me and brenda already has decided that we shall go shopping today...the original plan was to go chinatown...for the night bazaar thingy...but after she went there with dan...we decided that it was wiser for us to go shopping for cny clothes at bugis instead...haha...

wise choice made!

it was such a fun time shopping!! gals' nite out i mean...haha...when i went shopping with kim lee...at orchard...didn't manage to get anything lehz...but today..haha..with brenda...i actually bought 4 tops in like 3 hours...hahaa...marvellous rite...

also met jolene at bugis village...hahaa...saw her then i was reminded that the cafe at bugis village...the food there...cant be eaten de...its horrid! despite the many reminders from my vaious friends...it still slipped off my mind...and since i've not eaten there yet...i asked brenda to dine there together...it was such a disappointment...sucky food...never to go there for food again...haha

then was quite unhappy in the afternoon with zeyi...he told me that he finally realised that he had been happier with his ex...and that he preferred her...so wat does he mean here..? that throughout these few months...he had been toying with me..? and all the words that he had said...he doesn't mean it right...and these were all lies!!!

lies...lies...lies!!!

then he still had the nerve to sms me...hahaha...omg...please...this time...i tell myself...its a good thing he's told me this...cos i'll stop being apologetic and such a fool...and there's no need to worry about wat he'll feel anymore...hahaha...

at that point of time...i must admit...all that was in my mind...was revenge...how could this happen...haha...but i'm glad...i'm rational...haha...i wun de la.... but i dun think we can ever be friends again also ba...at least not now...

haha...then this also means that...the guy that i've been missing for the whole week...whom i'll see tml nite...haha...i dun need to hide my feelings from anyone anymore...haha...but well...its also up to him to decide...what he really wants and wat he wants to do with me...cos i've already lost the right...to pursue my happiness with him...i've let him down before...i'm sorry...

but that's ok...haha...as long as i know how he feels...its enough...really...

rainy days...

well...it has been raining for so many days...super sianz...counting back...it started to rain on sunday nite i guess...if i'm not wrong...so it has been raining 4 days straight!!! omg...this rain certainly has a super long life!

well...but these rainy days...has dampened my mood...everyday also raining...make me so moody le...sianz! everyday wanna go out also no mood...argh....stupid rain...faster go away ba!!!

haha...today's eugene's 21st birthday!! happy birthday bro...met u a few days ago...at admiralty mrt station...omg...boy...its time for u to go on a diet...or do some exercise...i knw u're a kayaking instructor now...but still...ya belly...omg! shld trim it down le...u look like u're a few mths pregnant!!

and also...kelvin is back from brunei today...haha...u made it back ar...haha...so dun think about the bad experiences in brunei...juz keep them somewhere in your minds...they made you stronger..haha...

wah...today's blog entry like preaching lidat...haha...shall stop that then...

well...guys...dun wonder why am i blogging at this time...i'm not eating snake in office ok...i went on the AbacusWhiz 3 conversion course...u probably wun know what its about...its juz a course that's supposed to teach you what the program's about...after its upgrade...but it was SUPER BORING!!!

i could have easily fallen asleep during the course...especially the part after the lunch...on ticketing and stuffs...i knw nuts about ticketing...should have zao after the lunch...haha...stupid me...but well...the course still ended super early...and i guess i can lie across and skip office for the rest of the day...haha...so my bosses better dun read my blog...haha...

selamat hari raya haji

first of all...selamat hari raya haji to all muslim friends! and thanks to all of you, we all Singaporeans have an extra day of public holiday today...heehee...

well...quite happy...juz finished changing my blogskin...haha...this seems so much more girly than the previous one rite...haha...but i still like it...so cutesy and stuff...hahaha...but it turned out to be easier than i imagined it to be...hahaha...

went for lunch with mama and my bro...then came back home...see later got go out anot lo...if not...think i'll spend my day at home...watching tv...vcds...and dvds ba...hahaha...think i also "huo gai" one...haha...reject away all the "dates" to go out...haha....but well...they were not people that i wanted to go out with anyway...hahahahaa!!!

erm...was woken up by a call last night...or rather...this morning @ 3am!! omg...if it was anybody else...i would have screamed at him...haha...but nope...it was a call i had been waiting for...so it actually felt sweet ba...had a good sleep after the call...cos it settled me down...haha...

wat type of tree are you???

What type of tree are u?

Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 (only) - Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 (only) - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Dec 22 (only) - Beech Tree
Dec 23 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree

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RESULTS (in alphabetical order)

TREES:

Apple Tree(Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.



Ash Tree (Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support..



Beech Tree (Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)..



Birch Tree (Inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant,friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere..



Cedar Tree (Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.



Chestnut Tree (Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive,Well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.



Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to Gain knowledge, needs to be needed.



Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.



Fig Tree (Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence..



Fir tree (Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.



Hazelnut Tree(Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.



Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.



Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.



Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.



Oak Tree (Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.



Olive Tree (Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.



Pine Tree (Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance.



Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.



Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.



Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.



Weeping Willow (Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh

被爱是幸福

被爱是幸福...was listening to this song this morning on my player...on my way to work...the lyrics of the chorus goes like this:

如果有机会

愿不愿重来一回

被爱是幸福

爱人是痛苦

我连在你面前

想哭都不会

被爱是幸福

爱人是痛苦

我已经选择

爱你只付出

very sweet lyrics rite...then i started to get a bit sentimental about this song...haha...i know i shldn't...but well...will put it in my new year resolutions...to change this stupid habit of mine...

haha...well...perhaps...被爱是幸福...is probably true...haha...in anyway...i had 2 guys that loved me truly...and cared for me...so i was doubly 幸福...haha...but i was foolish enough...to hurt both of them...and to let them go...

i was reading thru one of my friends' blog...below is a portion of it...

男孩，不輕易哭泣，只有面對最愛的人時，才會變得脆弱。

男孩，不輕易哭泣，只有在太愛你的時候，才會放下自尊。

女孩，如果有個男孩為你哭，請拉住他的手，他真的可以陪你走完一生。

probably...this is true too...cos we all knw...guys do not shed their tears easily...and if they do...its probably they're really sad...

actually...i also dunno wat's the meaning of this entry...dunno wat i am trying to say...juz wanna let go of my emotions...haha...dunno whether am i sad now...or happy...haha...cos both of them are getting on so fine now...haha...

cheers to singlehood!

happy new year!

haha...happy new year to all!!!! i knw its rly a bit late to say this now...haha...most of my friends already have looked thru the past yr...and have posted their new year resolutions...almost a week has past in this new year before i am actually here again...haha...

well...i keep complaining that 2005 had been a bad yr for me...

looking back at 2005..

i had been an intern with Diners...before my attachment ended...my manager actually offered me a full time job...considering the grooming i had been given...and my interest in the travel trade...i agreed to stay on...haha...guess i was pretty lucky to have a job waiting for me even before i graduated...

then a recruitment agency actually gave me a call...and asked if i was interested to work for another agency...as i could speak cantonese...theirs was more of a phone sales agency...that deals a lot with hong kong and china...so it was a plus-point that i could speak canto...but i rejected...as the work place was simply too far from home...

work has also improved slowly...since i've been here for more than 1 yr...since internship has started...haha...and i've seen 2 batches of interns...the TP interns (Daniel and Karine) has already left us...now its the SP ones...haha...1 yr more juniors...and i've become a mentor for the SP interns...whoa~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

things were rocky between me and kelvin...for quite a while...and things got worse...especially when we were graduating and he was going into ns...we quarreled more often...and eventually broke up...a few days before he enlisted...and 2 weeks before my 20th birthday...after we broke up...i even said some hurtful words to him...which i guess...had really hurt...i'm sorry...

then i met zeyi at kin's b-day party...hit it off right away...and we were together...less than 2 weeks after we first met...it was pretty happy in the first few weeks...he even ignored friends' advise that i was not an easy gal to be with...because he really loved me then...

but well...guess me and zeyi...didn't really suit each other...quarrels began very soon after that...he couldn't get use to my temper...i wasn't accustomed to his...quarreling so often...it was very difficult to continue...

when we finally did break off...he was so jue...and after that...i did the same thing back...i am sorry...but i really cant bring myself to accept u again...not the same way it used to be...i really cant...i'm sorry...all those bad memories will always come back to me...

perhaps...u shld just let go of me...

you'll probably be happier ba...

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relationship with my family had i guess...improved...in a way...since i was living at home for most of the yr...that's from june onwards...haha...friends would know that i used to live at kelvin's place...but since i've moved back...seeing them more...has certainly reduced the strains in a way...now we are talking more...and mama even for the first time in many yrs...gave me money to buy clothes...for the new year...haha!!

however...for the whole yr i haven't been to church...now church has been so distant...went for the get-together on Christmas day...that was the Timon Fellowship gathering...at karen's hse...haha...realised that its probably time to go back to church... ...

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looking into 2006...

actually i dun have much to look forward to also...juz hope to get into better health and shape...take less mcs...be healthier...and to enjoy life to its fullest!!!

also looking forward to the hong kong trip with brenda in feb...to my 21st birthday in june...haha...and dunno wat else that may come!! ....