iTS alL oVEr...finAlly??

well..its been quite a while since i last blogged rite..as u all can see..me and him..things are finally over..after so much pain and struggle..i finally decided to let go of him..for him to pursue his own world..but that's without me..

we broke up..finally..really over le..the last time..we both couldn't let go..so we decided to give both of us a chance..to try over once again..but this chance..was never given to me..i dunno if he really meant it at that time..he probably did..but his heart..was never open again..to take me in..i noe i sound like a girl begging for love here..but i really gave my all..really..leaving nothing for myself..that's why it hurts so much now i guess..and i don't even know if i will ever recover from this pain..

ever..i wanted so much for this relationship to work out..but of cos i also prepared myself for the worst..but never in my dreams did i expect us to end it this way..

how foolish can i get..i thot we both felt the same way..i thot u still loved me..i thot we could start all over again anew..as long as i could curb my short-fused temper..but the truth is..as per what you said..its all bcos of responsibility and obligations..you already do not love me rite..you know it deep in your heart..that's why the better i am to you..the more confused you feel..that's the way u want it..i'll give it to u..and not bother u anymore..

how can u be so cruel to me..how can u..how could you ever be so cruel..to someone..even though u may not love me anymore..but have u ever loved me?? if yes..how can u be so cruel..how..and why..why did u have to do this to me!! if you had even loved me for a day..how can u be so cruel..to deny me of all my efforts for trying so hard..to salvage this relationship..

you said i gave..that's why i expected..but isn't that also happening to you?? u also had all those expectations of me..which i couldn't meet..that's why all the quarrels started..u always lke to compare..comparing my responses to what you expected..or how else would you respond..is that being fair to me?? we're 2 different persons with totally different personalities..how can we compare things this way?? perhaps fairness is not the question here..cos there is no fairness in love..one cant expect love to be fair anyway..

i guess this is all retribution..the way i hurt my ex..

its all happening to me..its all wat i deserve..

ps: juz some words of advice for you people out there..dun ever give out your heart..leaving nothing for yourself..bcos..if you do so..you will never be the same again..