stupid me...

today..really stupid..but at least, this action has actually allowed me to see thru everything..

although it really hurts like hell now..but at least..i believe..time will heal everything... ...

i know his parents work full shift today..and his brother should be working..his sister-in-law too..i know he will be lazy to cook..and will skip meals..i juz wanted to bring him food..i swear..i swear i didn't want to ask for anything more..juz wanted to bring him his papa roti bread..and the honey milk tea he always like..

when i was at northpoint..i walked by sembawang music store..and bough the *perhaps.love* ost for him..i thot it would be meaningful..then i saw that plum sweet thingy that he likes..i couldn't help but buy it for him too..

but well..i guess i reached too early..he was still sleeping when i reached..so when i called him to open his door to get the stuff..he didn't bother to check out the corridor if i was still around..

i really wanted to see him..i didn't mean for things to become like wat it became de..i didn't come to wreck havoc..i didn't come to cause trouble for u de..really..

i really dunno wat happened to me..i really lost control of myself..

however..although all these have happened..i really dun blame u..i really cant i guess..i was given the chance..but i never did cherish you..i threw tantrums..i know u needed security..but i couldn't give you..i know u were afraid of another relati0nship..it was me..it was my temper that led us up this path..u always wanted to talk thru our problems..i never dared to face it..

anyway..it was also this episode today..that left me thinking..how can u be so cruel and aloof and cold to me?? i was once the gal u loved..and i believe u still love me de..but how can u be so jue qing..and determined..with me crying in front of you..and breaking down..begging you..haiz~ well..guess it's telling me that it's time to let go... ...

then went for mahjong session with dusk, kelvin and wei..thanx all 3 of u for the afternoon..and bearing with me..

friends out there..meet up soon ok..christmas is round the corner..perfect time for a get-together!